Something's gone very wrong with Masterchef. Due to my aforementioned love of TV I watch random satellite channels quite a lot. This is excellent because there are so many and they harbour such delights.
This is how I became involved with Masterchef Australia. It's really most peculiar. There's a short, bald, shouty man (obviously - you can't have Masterchef without a short, bald shouty man, preferably with horrendous manners when he eats), a guy who most closely resembles Toad from Toad of Toad Hall (he also has hair like Thingie Llewellyn-Bowen and wears a cravat. Without irony) and Another Dude.
They all stand in a big warehouse with a wet floor and shout at (I think) 50 contestants. FIFTY? where's the need for that? The first challenge I saw involved these contestants running around outside, peeling potatoes and cutting them into chips. Like a sort of boot camp for an unfortunate sous chef. and then it started raining. I mean horizontal monsoon like rain. And they carried on chopping potatoes in the rain. What. The. Fuck.
I remember the days when Lloyd Grossman, he of the peculiar Antipodeanesque accent, would gently cajole three middle aged to elderly types through their producing a fantastic looking three course meal. He would then respectfully judge the food, which was clearly of an extremely high quality. It was all very pleasant and Sunday-evening-on-the-BBC-in-the-80s.
Then there was Masterchef, the reboot. Which introduced SHOUTING and PRESSURE and a random greengrocer as a judge. Cooking doesn't get TOUGHER than this. And slowly the cooks became more and more inferior.
Then there was the deconstructed trifle.
Now it's peeling potatoes in the rain and people frequently sobbing about missing their children and how they're doing it for their dead grandma.
There's probably some kind of analogy with the demise of our very society in this shit but I can't be arsed to find it.
I'm waiting for the episode where blind, mute, midgets have to cook a deep fried mars bar in the dark while doing a karaoke rendition of The Greatest Love of All. Until then, I'm just not interested.