Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Night owl

I just watched the Steps reunion show on SKY Living. It went on for about 40 years and I learned all about H and his sheep and Claire and her weight problem. And then they reunited them all in a room and basically left them to fight. And then the credits rolled. Sigh. They were just getting to the good bit. I predict Claire making Lisa cry (possibly by insulting her appalling nose job) and then perhaps eating her.

My life has turned into a nocturnal fug. I only feel awake at night when I'm pouring endless pints of Becks Vier and handing out fecking Kopperberg like it's some kind of elixir of health. What do people see in that? When did cider become cool? Who invented Jaegerbombs? What, exactly, are sours? Will I ever learn to make a cocktail? Hell, will I ever learn to make a cappucino? These are the questions that trouble my brain while at work.

And I've been at work a LOT recently. My shifts have fallen so that I have genuinely spent most of the last four days at the bar. And it kind of feels weird not to have gone in today. I miss the regulars. I miss cleaning the ashtrays. I miss hoovering up the sick.

I don't go to bed before at least 3.30am and I'm getting up later and later. I haven't been running because I'm just too exhausted. My shift on Monday was nine hours long. Nine hours running around and having to be cheery. Totally exhausting.

I think it's kind of like Stockholm Syndrome though. I kind of am enjoying it. I'm sort of getting into it. I'm taking pride in cleaning the bogs. For real. At least it's honest work. You go in, you clean, you serve booze, you clean, you drink, you leave. There's no wanky meetings, no flipcharts, no Kaizen, no SCRUM, no bullshit in short. If the boss hates you, man, you know it. There's no passive aggression and giving evils over the scanner. There's no being chained to your seat like a battery chicken. My legs used to twitch. I used to feel like rocking in desperation after about six hours. Desk jobs are panic attack inducing.

And they're not conduicive to concetration. Hence people bogging off to pointless meetings every 20 minutes. Anything to break the stultifying rhythm of the average day at the office. I have been known to make 36 cups of tea in a single day just so I could GET UP AND MOVE AROUND.

The downside of being this knackered is the fact that I've done nothing constructive today. Although I did watch the Steps Renuion (I was hoping for an actual fight) and Masterchef Australia (utterly insane as usual. I find myself talking to my cat with an upward inflexion) and I've learned to treble stitch.

Actually, that's pretty constructive.

I'm going to go to bed before 3am tonight as well, just to see what it's like.

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