But first, I HAVE to get in a number 11 on the hate list. Big Issue sellers. Particularly Big Issue sellers who mistakenly believe they have the gift of the gab and come across in a sort of cockerney cheeky chappy way, as opposed to a harrassing, rude and FUCKING annoying way.
1. Coffee. I really really like coffee. It has to be real, but other than that I'm easy. Cappuccino, americano, whatevs. Don't care. But I have to have it every day. Most recently about five times a day. This has coincided with my insomnia. Oh.
Coffee literally gets me out of bed in the morning. I've even got into the habit of drinking it last thing at night before bed. Who does that? Weird. I would rather give up eating than coffee. Fact.
2. The Guardian on a Saturday. I like The Guardian every other day but I only read it online. Or on the Facebook app. Which, by the way, is creepy. I don't particularly want everyone to see exactly what I've read. They'll see that I mostly leave the actual news out and only ever get stuck in to the culture section. When did Facebook get so JUDGY? But on Saturdays I go and buy it. It costs me £2.10 and it's 210p well spent. I read it cover to cover (obviously apart from Sports and sometimes Money) and I freaking love it.
Even the shit bits.
3. Reading. I like reading immensely. I was a child with no need for friends. I genuinely didn't really understand the concept until I was about 13. To me, most activities - school, socialising, exercise, family - were just distracting me from my main purpose in life. Which was to read all of L M Montgomery's books over and over again. I used to read under the bedclothes until ridiculous times of night. I loved it, adored it. It made my life worth living. When I hit puberty, for the first and only time in my life, books took a backseat for a couple of years. I was far too confused by everything that was suddenly going on and I forgot about it. And then when I was 16 my mum gave me Therese Raquin for Christmas, with the rather curt instruction to 'for goodness sake, expand your repertoire Debbie'. So I did. That took me through 19th century french, english and russian literature. Through Terry Pratchett's entire collection. To books on madness and love. Poetry, Shakespeare and Bridget Jones. Marian Keyes and Biggles. Endless awesomeness in paper form. And more recently in Kindle form. Of course, it does mean that one has to stumble across the occasional Finkler Question or Twilight, but that's a risk I'm willingt to take. Reading is what separates us from the beasts. Reading and thinking. Absorbing other peoples' ideas, dreams, theories, nonsense. It's what makes me tick.
4. Singing. I love singing. I'm a decidedly average singer. Possibly less than average. I don't know. I don't really care. Increasingly I spend my days working at home while singing along to one of the twelfty million music channels I have. Right now it's Edge of Glory.
5. Men. Yes, despite my rantings and ire, I don't actually hate men. That would be ridiculous. I hate one man right now, for instance. And I expect that will fade with time. I love men, I love being around men. My male friends are awesome. Fascinatingly different from my girl friends. I like looking at men, and I like flirting with men.
6. My friends. Obviously. Really is so obvious it almost doesn't warrant a mention, but every day, without fail, one of my friends will either a) be there for me even when I know I can be the highest maintenance friend at times, b) make me laugh till I almost wet myself, c) reaffirm my faith in mankind.
7. This Hollyoaks trailer:
I don't watch Hollyoaks - at least I haven't for a long time. But this trailer is a slice of awesome. Maybe if they spent the cash on decent actors and script writers instead of shiny stuff like this I'd watch. But hey ho.
8. Cold weather and bright sunshine. Yesterday was almost perfect - a couple of degrees colder and it'd be there.
9. Running. Especially interval running. Running fast is the best I probably ever feel, apart from when things are looking particularly rosy in the bed area. I cannot believe it took me 32 years to be brave enough to go out and do something that would make me feel this good. I mean, obviously, it also makes me heave sometimes and sweaty, hot and look like a tomato. But it's transcendental.
10. I like the things I've achieved this year. I like the fact that I'm a freelancer. I like the fact that I've made a tonne of new friends. I like the fact that I've broken free of a destructive and ridiculous relationship. I like the fact that I'm free to live life how I want to. And I should remind myself of this every day.
Wowsers. Writing this has done things to my synapses and made me feel all, uh, what is it? Positive. That's it. Positive.