Monday, 7 November 2011


I just got sniggered at in Superdrug for buying sanitary towels. Seriously. The young cretin gave his friend a look and smirked while he was waving them past the beeping thing.

I was incredulous. Actually incredulous. I mean, he works in a fucking chemist. I wonder if he blushes when people buy condoms? He must freaking die if someone buys that Durex lube stuff. What if I was to go in and buy a pregnancy test? Would he explode with repressed humour at the thought of someone to wee on a stick to determine the outcome of that one night stand the other week?

How would he cope if someone (not me, obviously) went in for pile cream? Or Vagisil? (terrible name for a product, I always think. I mean, I suppose it sort of does what it says on the tin but personally, if I ever feel the need for feminine hygiene products, I'd rather their name wasn't derived from the word vagina. But perhaps that's just me. I don't know).

It sort of simultaneously winds me up and makes me annoyed when men and boys are either amused or somehow disgusted by the sight of a tampon. We've surely come a long way from the days when women were looked at as unclean when they bled uncontrollably every month?

Periods really are a woman's curse. It's an old refrain, but if guys could just ONCE experience the hormonal mess you can feel at that time, deal with the grimness of the blood, thedepression and weepiness, or the irresistable anger that can come with PMT. And the fact that the day it starts when you're 11 or 12, you know that that is it. For the next 40 years. Bleeding every single month, without fail.

And then, things go wrong. I was diagnosed with endometriosis last year. This, lads, involves a woman's womb lining growing where it shouldn't and then shedding. It is cripplingly painful and can stop you in your tracks. It usually necessitates people thinking you're making a fuss when you go green and have to lie down at that special time of the month. Or if you say that your period pain genuinely does last for two out of every four weeks. I had mind lasered off but it's growing back.

Or the womb lets you down when it comes down to it. Some women suffer periods their whole life long, only to not be able to conceive, .Some doeaccidentally and are forced to make a decision of, literally, life or death. I was in that unfortunate position myself a few years ago.

But I am digressing from my point somewhat. Which is this. One should be able to go to a chemist and buy whatever one needs, wether that's a sanitary towel, condoms, pregnancy test or fucking Durex love juice or whatever it's called, without having to run the gauntlet of dealing with shop assistants with a lavatorial humour.

So, Superdrug cretin, sanitary towels are really no laughing matter. And from now on, every single time I need to buy something for my lady bits I will seek you out and then ask you questions about it. Till you cry. Twat.


  1. You deffo shoulda got his name and lodged a complaint. Failing that, the plan to embarass him by asking a thousand detailed questions sounds like a good one!

  2. When I were a lass working at Tesco, there was a lad there who actually scanned through a pack of sanitary towels and said to the customer, "I would have thought you'd be too old for these by now".

    Miraculously he wasn't fired, or perhaps more justifiably, punched in the face. He was eventually dismissed for giving out too many Computers for Schools vouchers. :|