I'm watching Charlie Brooker's 2011 Wipe. I'd almost forgotten about some of the shit that's gone on out there. You know, outside of my head and my tiny little world. Revolutions, the Arab Spring, Amy Winehouse, shitloads of murderous despotic dictators killed, shitloads of hysteria over the arse of the sister of some bird who married Prince William, the riots, nuclear meltdowns, Charlie Sheen, super injunctions, phone hacking gate, the revolting celebration of the US over the bloodlust murder of Bin Laden and, most shockingly and horrifically of all, The Only Way is Essex winning a BAFTA.
I think we just had the end of the world, people. The Mayans clearly got the year wrong. It's possible we've already all gone through it and we're all existing in some kind of happy creation of our own imaginations. Maybe this is what happens after the apocalypse. That would be disappointing, frankly.
Yes, I am writing this after imbibing a fair amount of gin and some beer. But I'm not drunk. It's all going to be completely coherent. Probably.
It's New Years Eve, well to be precise it's 4am on New Years Day and I'm blogging. I'm not at all sure what this says about my life, apart from the fact that I most certainly didn't pull last night.
So, how was 2011 for you? I'm pretty much relieved it has fucked off, between you and me. It could be my perpetual glass is half empty attitude, but I feel this year has vomited its fair share of shiteousness on my duvet. Although, I could flip it all around...
I may have left my job, yes, but I'm much happier without it and I'm writing for a living again And I work for myself. And I've rediscovered the grind of real, hard work at the pub, which has definitely done wonders for my sense of perspective and introduced me to what one could call a colourful cast of characters who might well form the basis of my first book.
I may have got back with my ex only for it to totally not work out in any way, shape or form... but I have finally freed myself from a really shitty situation that was just dragging on and on and on. And I'm genuinely fine about it. I have no regrets about that at all. Seeing someone clearly, I mean really seeing who they are underneath the charm and the lies and the bullshit is incredibly liberating. That moment when something shifts in your head and you finally are sure, completely sure, that this person is just horrible. They're not damaged or interesting or in need of help or confused or not in control of their own behaviour: they're just a dick. And they don't deserve one more second of your precious time. That moment is ace. And I had that.
I may still not be happy with the way I look but I'm still almost two stone lighter than I was this time last year and my hair is pleasing me on an almost weekly basis.
I may still be single but I'm definitely narrowing down what I'm looking for out of a life partner. It's pretty much this: must not be a knob. That's pretty realistic, right? I don't want money, power, a six pack or a massive schlong. Just someone who isn't a fuckwit. Actually I do want a fairly massive schlong.
I may not have finished my novel but I have started this blog, which is amusing me greatly.
I may not have met the love of my life but I've met a some interesting and, in some cases, challenging new friends who I'm happy to have in my life.
I may not have gone running every day, partly due to the beautiful second degree burns I randomly sustained in November, but I've healed and I am running again.
In short, I may not have had everything I wanted in 2011, but I suspect I had a few things I needed. And I'm lucky that I was able to celebrate tonight with some amazing friends, some of whom I haven't seen in close to three years. So maybe my glass was half full all along.
Happy new year to everyone I care about, and those I don't even know. I hope 2012 brings you peace, happiness and whatever it is that makes your world complete.