Monday, 2 January 2012

2012: fuck it

My New Year's resolution is pretty simple this year.
I know I need to kick smoking. I know I need to stop repeating certain patterns. I know I need to continue dieting forever and ever until I'm a cadaver and finally fucking thin enough. I know all of that. But deciding on January 1st that all of these things are going to happen when they failed to do so on December 31st is bullshit. Ain't going to happen. Boring. Pointless.
But this year I going to change something that should be easier than all the above. One simple statement which utilises one of my very favourite words. Fuck it.
People who I invest time and me into and don't reciprocate? Fuck it. Friends who never contact me? Fuck it. Comments and jibes and piss takes? Fuck it. Accordian man? Fuck him into the ground with a machete. People who make me feel insecure and worthless? Double fuck it. Feeling anxious and paranoid that I might or might not have said something, done something, hurt someone? Fuck it. Worrying about nuclear meltdown? Fuck it. Worrying about every single thing I put in my mouth? Fuck it. Fuck it all.
I'm going to try, just once, not to be 'positive' because that word makes me want to do a bit of sick in my mouth. But I'm very much over worrying about every single damn thing. And for the times when I can't say fuck it and mean it, I have a bumper pack of Valium. Bring it on 2012 you big bastard.

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