Monday, 16 January 2012

Creepy McCreeperson

Online dating sucks balls (metaphorically I hasten to add). I think I've made that clear from some of my previous posts. Even though I know of at least four people who have actually become engaged or are already married after meeting their other half on line (one of them just met the one lass and BOOM they're engaged), I don't have the knack of online dating. I just can't seem to do it very well. I don't seem to be cut out for it.

I actually had a date last night with a guy who, although lovely, could literally talk someone to death. It was kind of fascinating to see how much he could talk about himself. He was genuinely entertaining, even if he did remind me disconcertingly of Lee Evans in his mannerisms (and that's pretty disconcerting) but jeeesssus christ. I zoned out a good few times. And that's one of my more successful efforts at dating.

The point of this post is to introduce you to the Creepiest Guy So Far Ever (TM). I get a lot of messages and that on the site. I think women just do get a lot. I don't reply to most of them. I don't see the point in replying with a 'no thanks' email. It seems rather odd and presumptuous and surely people are just firing out as many emails as possible in the hope that something'll stick, right?

Occasionally I'll get someone who mails me over and over again even though I don't reply. And sometimes I'll reply and say: please leave me alone, I'm not interested. But only if it's after repeated weirdness. I have no desire to be rude to anyone or make them feel shitty, but I do draw the line at being spammed by Barry in Bootle or whatever.

All of this is par for the course in online dating.

However, a comment popped up on one of my blog posts (the one about the PPI salesman if you're interested in witnessing said freakiness) with some gibberish and then a message to contact him on the dating site. Curiosity getting the better of my common sense, I put his name into the site. Turns out he's already mailed me multiple times.

I put the gibberish into google and it turns out he has created a blog specially for me to read. The tagline is something like: found you on match. I can't bear to look at it again to find out exactly what it says, but that's the gist of it.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong but that's just a leetle weird. A bit, shall we say, intense. A tad, um, stalkerishly creepy.

I mailed him with a one liner asking him to stop contacting me and thought that would be the end of it.

Nahhhhhhhhhhh, that wasn't the end of it. I got a 1000 word email explaining in detail the reasons why it's completely normal to put someone's user name into Google, find their blog, comment on it, set up another blog just for that person to look at with repeated messages to contact them. Apparently that's totally normal and I'm a massive bitch for thinking it isn't. He is also apparently my intellectual and emotional superior.

Ladies and gents, I don't want to get carried away here, but I think... I think I might have found The One. Buy a hat, yeah?

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