Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Letting go

I've just started the monumental task of sorting through my stuff prior to movingmyentirelifesomewherewhereIdon'tknowanyone (TM). And one thing I've just realised is exactly how difficult I find it to let go. I'm not even talking about relationships and people and important stuff like that. I'm talking about makeup and, specifically, a small rubber dolphin.

Christmas 1999. My parents gave me a stocking full of little, silly things. I can't even remember what most of them were, but it was cute and lovely. In there was a rubber dolphin, just a small one, like a kid would play with in the bath. My dad picked it up somewhere and thought it would make a cute, random present. Which is why, through the last 13 years and five house moves, I still have this stupid, rubber dolphin.

If he was still alive he wouldn't remember that he gave it to me. He wouldn't care if I kept it. He'd probably think I was being a bit weird if I did. But I know that he chose it, he wrapped it, he put it in my Christmas stocking (even though I was 22 years old) and then two years later he had the audacity to die. And therefore I can't bring myself to bin it.

Same goes for loads of other things in my house. For different reasons in some cases. But the upshot is I have SO MUCH STUFF.

I just went through my make up and threw away an entire bin bag full. I mean, you're meant to keep your makeup for 15 years, right? That's normal, right?

Gahhhh. I'm going to be ruthless. I'm going to be brave. And I'm going to let go of things I just don't need anymore.

Except for the dolphin. The dolphin stays...

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