I suck at relationships. I'm just not good with them. I don't have the knack that other girls seem to have. I don't fall for people easily and when I do, it's generally the wrong people. My brain is wired incorrectly it seems.
But one thing I do have is an absolutely stunning knack of finding friends who are deeply special. Some of them are actually both kinds of special, come to think of it.
Tonight I sampled the best Leamington Spa has to offer for my leaving party. Which is basically The Clarendon, a pub that became a second home this last year, and The Assembly. The Assembly is one of the biggest condundrums Leamington has to offer. A beautiful venue populated almost entirely by people that, frankly, scare the bejeesus out of me. Horrible music, plastic cups and more hotpants than I can deal with. But my friends stuck it out to the bitter end, dancing to awful music and drinking crap drinks. Just for me.
And, for someone who finds writing bollocks so easy, I don't find it easy to say what I really want to say to these amazing people. That I will miss them every day. That every time they picked me up when it all went to hell and listened to me whinge and cry means the world to me. That I have 12 years' worth of memories from this town and these people that I will not forget. That their friendship, support and fun times is worth so much to me. That some of them have become my family, as I'm rather lacking in an actual one these days.
I have no idea if what I'm doing is the right thing. I don't know what's around the corner. But I do know that my life is richer, more interesting and better because of my friends. I'll miss you all very much. And although I appreciate that in the grand scheme of things moving to York isn't up there with going into battle or moving to the other side of the world, this is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, and it's your belief in me that is giving me the courage to do it.
Y'all know who you are.