Monday, 2 July 2012

Prometheus: stay bound

I have just watched Prometheus. I didn't realise it was a comedy. It was like watching an extended episode of Red Dwarf, complete with a Peter O'Toole impersonating Kryten.

My favourite bit was probably when the douchebag boyfriend was infected and Charlize flamed him for no discernable reason. (and yes, I get that she didn't want him to infect her ship etc, it just didn't have to be so overly dramatic. I was quite glad to see the back of him though. He was a right twat.) And then my second favourite bit was when the wicked witch was crushed under the falling house. Er. Ship. Oh, and the Caesarean was pretty cool. Although how on earth she did so much running around afterwards was ridonkulous.

My main observation though, is that fashions haven't changed much in 70 years. I'm pretty sure they'd have moved on a wee bit when it comes to sturdy outdoor clothing by 2094. They looked like they got most of their clothes from Millets circa 2010.

Fassbender was ace though and Guy Pearce looked like he was having an amusing time covered in the worst old-age make up since Benjamin Button. The whole 'father' reveal was utterly pointless and, well, they seemed to kind of run out of story but just kept going anyway.

The captain was a cliche, as was the dope smoking, weird-haired geologist. Mere cannon fodder in fact, as were most of the crew. Could they not have done more with the characterisation of the peripheral characters? Two of the crew seemed to be solely there to provide the wisecracks during the heroic self-sacrifice scene. It felt like Bruce Willis should have been present at that moment.

Maybe they too hung up on the whole Engineer/Creator thing? And it most definitely smacked of being more concerned with setting up the sequel rather than actually being entertaining.

Plus I had to sit through the trailer for the Hobbit. Which appears to be another three hours of a hairy-footed midget chasing a ring through some countryside, complete with Gollum and Gandalph popping up like Brad Pitt and David Arquette doing cameos in Friends. Does the world need more of that? I mean, really? Just watch the million-hour long Lord of the Rings trilogy would be my advice.

I just quickly read the plot summary of Prometheus on IMDB to check whether my female brain had simply not understood the complex messages and storyline. Turns out it had. That really was the storyline.

Still, the cinema in York is only £3.80 to watch a film and it was probably worth at least a third of that.

1 comment:

  1. What I thought was funny was that they picked the biggest bunch of mentally unstable dumabasses to go on the mission! Didn't they have ANY kind of screening for the mission??? There were so many things wrong with this movie but would you expect anything less from the guy that wrote Lost?