Seasons of mist...

I love Autumn. I imagine this is how everyone else seems to feel at the start of summer. That awful chirpiness that seems to infect people, leading them to sprawl around public spaces wearing hot pants - always with the hot pants -  and imbibe disgusting designer cider drinks or £5 a bottle.

Summer is aggressive and intense. It screams at you to get out and enjoy it. And if you'd actually rather stay inside with the curtains closed watching films in a darkened room people bang on about how "you're missing the best of the day". No, I'm not. The best of my day is spent in a darkened room watching films. That's what I want to do. I do not want to go and sit in a field, suffering from  the never ending snotfest that is my hayfever, getting hot, itchy and sweaty while waiting for a Morrisons sausage to blacken on a throwaway barbecue. I don't want to sit in parks surrounded by groups of aesthetically unpleasing people getting shitfaced and vomiting in the sunshine. I don't want to get sunburned. Hell, I don't even want a sun tan. I like being pale. I want to look like Emily Bronte in the throes of TB, not some tart from TOWIE. 

I hate summer clothes. I hate bikinis. I hate not being able to wear biker boots and leather jackets. I hate getting sweaty every time I move. I hate the smell of drains and Victorian sewers when it hasn't rained for months. I hate to see the trees gasping for a drink. I hate the sense of decay and overwrought humidity in August. True, I was spoiled this year, what with the arctic temperatures and never ending rain and I'm glad. 

And now that we've had an early cold spell and Autumn has arrived I feel renewed. I feel hopeful and happy at this time of year, no matter what's going on in my life. I love the way Autumn smells; wet leaves and crisp air. I love the colour of early evening Autumn skies, with their mellow pink sunsets and scudding clouds. I even love the rain. Fresh and cold like rain should be, not sweaty and heavy like mid-summer downpours. I love to see the leaves turning and falling and walking through them and sniffing. I love the nostalgic anticipation of Halloween, Guy Fawkes, Remembrance Day and Christmas (although I only really like the run-up, actual Christmas is hard), the possibility of icy frosts and frozen mists and hopefully snow. I love being outside and walking really fast and not getting hot. I love the clothes; fake fur, leather, lace and black, black, black. Even the makeup is better; kohl and new dark nail varnishes. 

So you can keep your summer and its sticky glare. I'd choose Autumn and its soft, enveloping darkness every time.