As usual, Apple fanboys and girls were whipped into a frenzy of anticipation before launch, culminating in an all night orgy of, um, queuing to get their sticky fingers on the iPhone 5. At £550 for the one with the crappest storage, it ain't cheap. But is it worth it? And more importantly, what cool shit can you buy to go with it? Let's ask Siri. Actually, let's not. Because Siri is still a bit crap.
Never mind. The phone looks ace and is altogether more sartorially pleasing than any iteration so far. It's all aluminium and thin and tall. It's got a bigger screen and is dead fast. Changes include a back made of Gorilla Glass so you can drop it when drunk and some really annoying things too. For instance, Apple have got rid of that weirdy 30-pin connector that all their products have had since time immemorial. It's been replaced by something called a Lightning Port, which means if you want to use one of the 9,372 other Apple chargers you already have lying around your house, you'll have to fork out £25 for an adaptor. Hmmm.
And, perfection lovers, the shiny new phone back is easily chipped and dented. Which brings me on to the point of my post. Yep. It's time to look at some of the accessories available so you can get yourself a nice protective case or 12. So let's go. My top five things you should almost definitely buy.
Rich fashionista's choice: CalypsoCase Rainbow - limited edition leather cases in black, red and silver designed by Lara Bohinc from calypsocrystal.com. And they're a snip at £120. Oh come on, you just paid nearly £600 or a phone, at least splash out to equip it in the manner to which it is accustomed. Cheapskate.
Practical and tough: Cyngett UrbanShield case for £25 at uk.cygnett.com. Looks cool and perfect for your business-like 'grrr' days.
Pure aceness: Breffo Spiderpodium. I love this. It's like a spider. A colourful, bendy spider. It's a stand and holder and if you get bored of using it for the iPhone you can just scoop things up with it. Endless fun for £15 from breffo.com.
It's not fashion but you'll need it: Lightning to 30 pin adaptor. If you were concentrating above, you'll see that you'll need at least one of these bad boys. It's £25 from apple.com. Where else?
Best thing ever: Griffin Kazoo for iPhone 5 case in Monkey, Elephant, Tiger or, um, Koala? Seriously. These are possibly the best things I've ever seen. And they even have compatible apps so you can customise your phone's background to your case. £20 from griffintechnology.com
fancy sites where you can customise your own design and, apparently, get a case to match every outfit. Or you could go here Whatever It Takes and find a case designed by your fave rapper, soulster or rocker and know that some of your easily squandered cash will go to charity.
Just make sure you buy plenty of cases. You're most likely stuck with that phone for at least two years...