"... One year, three months old. Very affectionate and friendly."
This is the first advert I saw on Gumtree while searching for a really reputable looking pimp to hire me just now.
What is wrong with this picture? I'll tell you what's fucking wrong with this picture. There is no excuse in the fucking world to try and get rid of the pet you can no longer be arsed to look after on fucking Gumtree. The cat is not a commodity. It is not something that you can pick up and put down. I don't see any listings for children on there? "Looking for a new home for little Jeremiah. He's house trained and micro chipped. Very affectionate." That, I can almost understand.
Let's leave aside, for a moment, the issue I have with people who take on pets only to dump them when they realise that actually, it's quite expensive, and a bit of a pain in the ass and you have to, you know, give a shit about this animal that YOU undertook to look after. Somebody that I used to know adopted a cat and then fucked off to another country. "But, what about your cat?" I said. "Oh," he said. "They kind of just come with the house don't they?"
No. No they fucking DON'T. Cats that were family pets don't just magically "look after themselves" the instant people can't be bothered.
Here's my second issue. If you have to get rid of your pet for whatever reason - perhaps your new partner is allergic or thinks animals are dirty - don't then take a photo of your pet and put it up on a fucking website for any psycho to take heed of.
What you could do, actually, is take your pet to one of the many, MANY animal charities (Cats Protection, RSPCA, local shelters, Blue Cross, PDSA. There are literally hundreds) who will take your bundle of fur from you with no questions, no charges and no blame. Here the poor abandoned furry thing will be looked after and you (assuming you give any kind of a shit at all) will have the peace of mind that any home they go to will be vetted and its new owners checked out.
If you can't even face that, perhaps because it makes you look like the uncaring douchefuck you are, then leave kitty outside one of those places and the staff will look after her.
I emailed the Gumtree prick and suggested that perhaps it would be kinder to take their beloved pet to an animal rescue charity, rather than just taking some cash off whatever dickhead rocks up after seeing the advert.
Judging by the age of the cat these assholes are trying to palm off like an old pair of shoes, I'd guess that they got her as a fluffy kitten and then got bored with her as she got older and just went about doing her cat thing. Cats are discerning pets. And they don't just dole out affection on tap like some kind of blow up animal doll. If you get a cat purely because YOU want affection, rather than you want to make sure the animal has a nice life, then you're a douche.
I really hope this kitteh ends up with someone better than her first family. Someone who perhaps will stick with her until, oh, I dunno, the end of her life?
I hate people.