Mitt Romney ladies and gentlemen.
The man who looked, for a few scary days, very much like he could have been President of what is still the most powerful nation on earth.
Mitt is, let's face it, an unmitigated twat. He's in favour of renewable energy as long as it doesn't cost anything; he wanted to give employers the power to decide whether female employees can get free contraceptives on their health insurance; he emotionally declared that he had seen Martin Luther King Jr marching with his father George Romney. He was later forced to admit that, in fact, he hadn't. He had meant it 'figuratively'. After he looked up 'figuratively' in a dictionary.
He wanted mosques to be wiretapped and foreign students to be placed under surveillance to improve domestic intelligence. Yes, really. He opposed Obama's first bill as President in 2008 --
that of equal pay for women. Romney hates pornography but is a card-carrying member of the National Rifle Association with the fiery passion of a crazy religious right wing fucknugget.
He hates unions. He hates porn. He hates women. He supported 'abstinence' education. This is where children get no sex education apart from being told not to do it. Yeah, that works Mitt. That's an excellent idea.
He vociferously opposed any new gun measures and made it clear that, should he be elected, he wouldn't change a thing as it might annoy lawful gun owners. He wanted to build a fence along the entire 2,600 mile border between Mexico and the US, equipped with armed guards and enough technology to electrocute those motherfuckers.
My whole life there have been morons in the White House. The earliest I remember was Reagan and then Bush Snr, Bush Jnr... growing up I thought that it was the law that American Presidents had to be half wits. Whenever Hollywood created a President, he was intelligent, erudite, stylish, fair minded, liberal... and yet reality gave us various incarnations of the moronic Bush family.
I genuinely never expected a President like Obama to ever be elected. He's intelligent, erudite, stylish, fair minded, liberal. He's pro-choice, supports same sex marriage, wants to strengthen social security and education, end the war in Iraq, finish the campaign in Afghanistan and stop Iran going mental with nuclear armaments. He's not a religious nutter. He can kill flies like a ninja and can do all of the potentially embarrassing President things while still seeming cool. He is way more than America deserves. And he's kind of hot.
And I know that a) I have about as much political understanding as Fatman and b) I'm not American but it is important to me and I did a little jig of joy when I heard Obama was in for another four years.
Obviously, any political stance is emotive and difficult to intelligently argue, because everyone thinks they're right. The crazy ass right wingers who really, truly thought Romney would be their next President no doubt think they're completely right in hating poor people and not wanting everyone to have equal rights.
But here's the thing. They're not. They're utterly wrong. There is no justification for pro-life, misogynistic policies, no justification for treating immigrants like shit, no justification in being openly racist and no justification in backtracking, lying and agreeing with whoever is nearest to you at any given moment. There's no justification behind assuming people who earn $250,000 are of 'middle income' and proudly declaring you're "not going to bother" with anyone poorer than that. There is no justification in being such an out of touch, bigoted old fool and expect to run America. Although I suppose, in his defence, he'd seen many of a similar ilk end up in the White House.
Thank fuck that, despite a late push in the media for Romney, just enough Americans realised his utter fuckwittage in time and voted for the best hope they have. And let's face it, whatever Obama can or cannot achieve (while being blocked by the Republican knobrots in the Senate) he is a man who will never ever say anything as inane as this:
"I'm not familiar precisely with exactly what I said, but I stand by what I said. Whatever it was."
Bye bye Mitt. It's been no pleasure whatsoever.