Sunday, 6 January 2013

Another whore's bath

If I was going to plan my perfect week's run up to starting a new job, it probably wouldn't cover the following:

  • Working three nights till stupid o'clock in the morning, meaning I look and feel like the living dead
  • Being evicted
  • Arranging multiple emergency flat visits to try and find an new place to live
  • Experience approximately 20 conversations over the phone with the Worst Letting Agents In The World (TM)
  • My freelance project to be so late running that I am doing it every second of every day that I'm not doing something else
  • Plumbers raiding my flat and turning my boiler off so that I no longer have hot water, a shower or any way to wash my hair
I start tomorrow and really need to start working out how I'm going to wash my hair in a bucket. Presumably in olden times people did this kind of shit all the time. But I really like showers. I do. I really like showers. I like being clean. I like having hot water. 

I can't help but think that if I was somehow hard enough I'd be able to have a cold shower like some kind of Stoic. But the thing about the Stoics, right,  is,k well, the important thing about Stoics is that they were mental. There's no glory in being abjectly uncomfortable and not whinging.

So a whore's bath it will be. But it's not difficult to boil a couple of kettles and wash your body. But when you have a foot of hair to contend with, then what are you supposed to do? I'm pretty sure as a child I used to wash my hair in the sink, so it must be possible. Although is that a real memory or something I read in a book? It seems an unlikely and peculiar thing to do. And so very 1940s slum. 

But the worst thing? Worse than having dirty hair and a twatty landlordHow the hell am I going to be together enough to leave the house at 8am? That's a time that doesn't happen these days unless it's when I'm going to bed. 

I asked my new boss the other day whether it would be possible to factor in my need for an afternoon nap into my working day. He replied in the negative, citing as the reason the fact that I am an adult and should be well able to stay awake all day.

I think he's wrong. 

Wish me luck. 

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