Wednesday, 16 January 2013

That's what Twitter is made of

Since my self imposed Facebook exile, which - since you ask - is going marvellously - I have turned towards the Twitter hate machine. And I do like it. I find funny things, interesting things and snark. So much snark. And, as we all know, I love snark.

But jesuuuuuuuuuuuus is the snark not overwhelming sometimes? I still follow a lot of the gaming industry - developers and press and the like - so perhaps that’s what’s skewing my view. But post after post of boring, bitter bile feels a little overwhelming sometimes. Like no one anywhere likes anything at all ever.  

There is one rule for snark - that it makes one person, even if that’s just the writer, laugh. That’s the point of snarking. It’s not just slagging off everything. It’s a well balanced analysis of things and stuff to display righteous disdain and superior intellect. And snigger. It’s making me look at what I write and wonder if people just think the same about me. Has my snark become the equivalent of spam?

And it’s not that some of these people aren’t funny. They are. They really are. But some seem to hate literally everything. EVERYTHING. Every game. Unless there’s a bad review by someone they think is a douche. Then they hate that review. Every film. Unless  everyone else seems to hate it and then they hate the people that hate it. They hate fans, they hate critics, they hate the weather, they hate people talking about the weather and in turn talk about the weather to tell everyone how much they really hate that.

Every piece of media and news. The comments  following coverage of major events like the helicopter crash this morning in London are always the same. Starts off with sympathy and shock and then ends up slating the way it’s covered or how the news channels wouldn't exist without Twitter. They would you know. They really totally and utterly WOULD. Wouldn’t it be weirder if they weren’t using the on the scene resource? If they refused to run any footage until they had filmed some? THAT would be weird. 

And sometimes things are nobody's actual purposeful fault. Sometimes shit things happen. 

Today provided a veritable smorgasbord of amusing japery/borderline weird smugness about HMV and Blockbuster going into administration. So many people tweeting that they could see it coming. Really? In the middle of a triple dip recession you could see this coming? You. Must. Be. A. Genius. Twitter equivalent of buzzards, circling the bad news trying to make it somehow something to do with them

Which is surely part of the problem. On Twitter, every fucker is famous. Everyone is making their pronouncements grandiosely to their audience. Like anyone out there really cares. It's less about people listening to you and more about just talking. Sort of a metaphor for life really. Everyone squawking away, no one really listening. And yes, I am obviously including myself. Although I'm hilarious and what I say actually does matter.
The hashtags confuse me as well. You know the ones that are something like #thingsthathurtthemost. Who starts them? And, for the love of god, WHY? And how do they end up trending? In the defence of the mostly lovely, intelligent, erudite people I follow, I have never seen anyone use a hashtag so heinous. I clicked on one yesterday just to see and it does seem to be an army of illiterate 14 year olds.

So that’s what makes up Twitter: News + snark + illiteracy + celebs +clumsy advertising.

So it’s clear to me now. It’s the quality of the snark, not the quantity. I shall sprinkle my snark more sparingly in future.*

* This depends entirely on my mood/hormone levels/cycle/life drama/men. Entirely.

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