Thursday, 10 January 2013

What kind of music do you like?


There it is.

The most tedious question in the history of the world ever.

And every guy who asks me out, new friend I make, person I meet who either wants to impress me or I want to impress them, they'll ask me. And another version of me makes extremely loud and overdone yawning noises while the real me mumbles something about eclectic.

Truth is, I like music. I always have. If I'm in the mood I'll have a little listen. I used to buy it, I now download it, it's all good. I have my favourites. I especially like to listen while drawing and running.

But good CHRIST, when am I going to be old enough to not be judged on the music I listen to. You know when you meet a hipster or derivative thereof, obviously they're always a DJ on the side. Always. And they'll always know more about music than annnnyone else in the room or possibly the world. And they'll bang on about genres and dubstep and drops and fucking I don't know what.

And I don't mind that. You know, each to their own. But it's when they get all uppity and smug when they know something about some wanky genre that their mate invented last Tuesday, urban dub hardcore step lite or some such shit, and you haven't heard of it. Like it makes them superior.

Sometimes I just bring up Coldplay and Adele, just to annoy them.

And besides I do like some Coldplay and Adele. I bloody love rock music, and cheesy 80s rock and goth bands. I still listen to Sisters of Mercy. I still like The Cure. I LIKE POISON. I'm 36 AND I LIKE POISON.

I don't like dubstep. Mostly because  I still don't understand what it is. Why are there so many genres? Why? Who decided that was the thing to do? Maybe I do like dubstep and don't even realise it.

I don't understand how music is made or marketed anymore. DJs seem to have to be IT experts to even have a fecking chance of it. And all the zeitgeisty bands seem to last about two weeks before they disappear into whatever sweat stained ether they came from. And if this makes me sound middle aged it's because I AM MIDDLE AGED.

And I'm far too old to be patronised by 40 year old sad git 'DJs' or 'producers' who turn out to actually work in a kitchen and play a local club at the weekend. I'm not going to defend what you consider to be my parochial taste as if it matters in any way, shape or form. And if you're over 30 then for fuck's sake, stop trying to keep up with them. The kids'll over take you anyway. They've already got more tattoos and trainers than you ever managed.

So, music snobs, take your genre condescension else where because you're never going to shame me into giving a fuck.

Also, your hat looks ridiculous.

Small update: still no hot water


  1. But ... let's say you're out on a first date, and he seems OK but you haven't quite made up your mind. The subject of music taste comes up.

    And then he tells you he likes ... Country and Western.

    Wouldn't you judge him? Just a teensy bit? And then when he follows it up with "I like to listen to it before I go out line dancing" wouldn't that be enough to make you reach for the can of pepper spray?

    It's true that it isn't fair to judge someone based on their music tastes ... but in some cases it might be a good early warning system. :)

    Makes me think: perhaps a good way to measure someone's level of tosserdom isn't so much by what they listen to, but how long they go on and on about it when you ask.

    A minute or two to list off the albums bought recently is fine. Perhaps another couple of minutes to talk about concerts they've been to (if they're into that). But anyone who can talk for half an hour about ANY musical style may warrant some concern.

  2. I'd judge him if I didn't fancy him.

    If I fancied him he could like whatever the fuck he wants. For at least three months. And then I'd judge him.

    I don't make the rules.

  3. My take is that what the person asking the question is trying to elicit is a response to do with genre or artist because what they require is some form of social club membership along the lines of "I can relate to you because we both like (name your label)". Apart from the ignoring the fact that this supposes compatibility is dependent on attaching the same labels in this way (is there not more to it than that?), I have always struggled as in practice even artists whose work I generally love have produced stuff I don't like & vice versa: I'd hate to label myself with a single genre. For me the test is "is this song honest?" and that normally does it for me. Some artists are generally very honest, some rarely if ever. Now try explaining this to some shallow type who asks you the question....