What is it? Am I cursed? Is there some fucking reason why I'm not allowed to live in relative peace anywhere in fucking York ever?
After the nightmare of my last place, I find this one which is perfect. It even has hot water and heating. And a nice old couple who live next door who have the most beautiful garden.
And then after two weeks they move out and, what I can only describe as a group of absolute fucktards have moved in next door. There seem to be at least six of them and, even thought they've only been in a week, have managed to blast music and inane bullshit through the wall at me last night and tonight, well TONIGHT EVERYONE, it's one of their birthdays. And you know what that means? Everyone who lives next door to them has to live through it with them.
I went round earlier when the shit music and screeching started. Fifteen minutes of pounding on the door later and two pissed up girls end up slurring about how it's their birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay and they're going outtttttttttttttttttt anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, so don't even worry about it, yeah?
Three hours later it's louder and there's more people. I should explain, I have to go through their garden to get to my front door so this could definitely get awkward. At the same time, I am fucked if some selfish fuckwits are going to ruin my new house for me. I work hard to be able to pay for somewhere I love. I have no money whatsoever left over - like at ALL - when I've paid for rent and bills and I don't care, because I love my place and I love living on my own.
So, back round I go. This time, a dead eyed youngster, with the frozen facial expression of a scumbag chav is smoking a cigarette in the garden.
- You tell them to turn it down or I will call the police (I won't, I'll actually call the Council, but police sounds better)
- OK, I'll tell them.
The door is ajar presumably so ratboy can slink back in. They can't hear my knocking because of the music and thousands of people that now appear to be in the house. I contemplate bowling in and confronting them, but I've had a bad day, and my courage failed me.
- Dunno what your problem is.
- I'm sorry, are you talking to me?
- It's Sat'day night. Music int even tha loud man
- The music is amplified through my walls, as is the screaming. Which bit of this do you not understand?
- It's Sat'day night. Snot loud. Jus havin good time innit.
- Do you understand that other people live here and don't want to have to listen to this?
- It's Sat'day night.
- Oh FUCK OFF
- Dun call police. Jus wait. It's Sat'day night. Fink you got issues man.
By this time I'm already back in my house on the phone. I discover York City Council has some kind of SWAT team of noise control officers who come out and investigate things on Friday and Saturday nights.
They're on their way.