Monday, 13 May 2013

I also hate these words

Since I wrote yesterday's involving my irrational hatred of certain words, people have sent in their own. Yes, really. People have asked me to include other words into an updated post. Marvellous isn't it?

But also I remembered loads of other words that make the hackles rise on the back of my miserable neck and make me want to punch the person who uses them.

And they are these:

1. 'gotten'
I cannot adequately convey how much I hate this word. I loathe it. And I don't even know why. I think it might be something to do with the pointlessness of the added syllable. Or the fact that it's an Americanism. I did read somewhere that actually it's grammatically correct in a similar way that the American pronunciation of aluminum is correct (it was us Brits who added in an unnecessary syllable to make it sound more English. I know. Mind blowing isn't it? Ours just sounds right. Al-um-in-um sounds so thick). Gotten is just terrible. Don't use it.

2. 'stuffs'
This is pretty unusual in that I have only heard one person ever use it. The context was thus: "You can just get on with your stuffs and then I can do something else." or "Are you busy doing stuffs now?". I think it was meant to be cutesy but it genuinely made me grind my teeth after the first few usages. Like grind my teeth so much that I couldn't actually hear what else he was saying.

3. 'luv'
It's spelled 'love'. There is no other way to spell it. LOVE. Luv is not a word. And you're only saving one letter, so why not just write 'love'. Why? WHY?

4. 'cum'
I just hate it. Why is it spelled like that? Surely it's all about the context it's used in? In my experience, even if it had been spelled 'come' I would have still understood what they meant. I mean, it was pretty obvious.

5. 'tits', 'boobs', 'breasts'
There just isn't a good word for mammary glands. If anyone says 'tits', it just makes me laugh and think of Benny Hill type sexism. 'Boobs' is too teenage-boyish and 'breasts' sounds, well, rather formal. It's something that's always vaguely bothered me. I suppose if I had to, I'd choose 'breasts'. But only if I had to. I tend to just point at them if they need to be referenced.

6. 'pacifically'
I'm veering off no into words that I often hear mispronounced. It makes me clench every bit of my anatomy, so embarrassed for them am I. Even though I'm fully aware that anyone who says pacifically instead of specifically is fairly unlikely to give a shit. But, for posterity, I've added it to my list.

7. 'defiantly'
What's wrong with defiantly, I hear you ask. It's a good, solid word that pleasingly conveys its meaning, surely? Well, yes, yes it is. It's a great word. A really, really good word, in fact. I admire anyone who is defiant. I think defiance is, generally, a trait to be applauded. But when people - and oh so many people do this - use it instead of the word they actually want to use, which is DEFINITELY, I want to stick a sharp needle in their eye. Yes, that's a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORD. When people use it instead of that then they should just be lined up against the wall and shot. Seriously. There's just no point in their continued existence. They're only going to pass it on to their inevitable mass of children, and then where will we be? Couple of generations' time and people will just be substituting random words for the one they actually mean. We need to take a stand now, people. NOW!

Onto the requests...

1. 'retarded'
I'm not allowing this on to the list because I actually like this word and use it often. And it's my list.

2. 'irregardless'
YES. Yes. And thrice yes. This can most definitely go on my list. Because it is a non word. If you're using it you're an idiot. What you mean to say is 'regardless'. You dick.

3. 'literally'
This is overused these days. Along with 'awesome', 'amazing' and 'fabulous', it has almost entirely lost its original meaning and is now commonly used by people who are usually attempting to make their story sound more interesting. So that's most people, then. "I literally died" is a common one to explain their huge embarrassment at some inane incident. But they didn't, did they? They didn't literally die because they're still writing shitty, annoying Facebook statuses. They literally didn't die, in fact.

I read somewhere how someone said that it's fine to use it in these kinds of contexts. I can't remember who said it or how they could even begin to back it up and I literally can't be arsed to look it up. On the whole, I think this should be on my list, although I don't hate the word, I just hate it when it's used incorrectly. So perhaps it should be filed next to 'defiantly' in a whole separate list.

Oh shit, this is never going to end, is it?


  1. I completely agree with 6 and 7. Have you seen the Mitchell & Webb sketch where David turns homicidal at anyone who mispronounces something? Very funny, and I guarantee you'll have heard every single one of them before.
    I reckon everyone who says "pacifically" instead of "specifically" should be rounded up, loaded into an unfeasibly large plane, and dropped into the sea. We can call it the "Specific Ocean".

  2. I love this rant-I totally agree about words for breasts, they all sound inane, which is a shame because I think they are beautiful in all their glory, perhaps that's why the reduce men to giggling school boys. It's glorious read this rant as most people are ignorant of their language and the heritage of their language, however, we shouldn't be too precious with language as it is a living thing that must adapt and evolve, or else die, murdered by Michael Gove and other public school imbefucktardins (see it is not easy) and malapropisms are funny and have a long history.