Tuesday, 24 September 2013

This isn't everything you are

A blog post inspired by Snow Patrol. Yeah, you read that right. SNOW PATROL.

Truth is, I've had a secret love for Snow Patrol since 2004. I like their lyrics, I like his voice, I just like it. I am far from cool with my music choices and the very fact that I'm even offering a defence for this annoys me. I've been affected far too much by young hipsters and their baffling music knowledge, clearly.

And one song I like in particular is called This Isn't Everything You Are.

Because it talks about that moment of clarity in the middle of the worst of times. That moment where you get a glimpse of how you will deal with this. The moment where you realise that you are more than this suffocating horror that your life has become.

And everyone has these times, no matter how 'fine' you portray yourself to be. Everyone, without exception (apart from sociopaths and a couple of my ex bosses, oh, and that ex boyfriend) has times where overwhelmed with the dark, it becomes impossible to see the light.

The second verse is this:

When you took the call
How could yo know
That he'd slipped away last night
When you wish you'd went
Home days ago
To say goodbye, or just hello

Cheesy? Trite? Yeah, probably. But also bang on for the phone call I had to take saying he'd died in the night. And also bang on is that months, minutes, decades, whatever, later, I did have a moment where I realised that this could no longer define me. That it is only a part of me. And it isn't everything I am.

But it's not just death. That tricksy beast. Relationships can rip your guts out sure as eggs is eggs. Impossible situations where you feel trapped can twist the knife. Being trapped in a place you wish you could leave but can't. Illness that just won't go away. Standing up for what you know is right in the face of incompetence (at best) and willful ignorance (at worst). All of the above can make you feel like you're going to keel over.

What am I trying to say? I dunno. Just that I know that some of my friends are in real pain right now for reasons beyond their control. And I just wish I could help. But I can't. All I can say that is when right in the middle of a nightmare situation, it's so hard to see and feel that it won't always be this way.

But it won't. No matter how horrific the situation. There will come a time when it just becomes a part of you, rather than all of you. And after that, after more time, it becomes something that happened to you.

Anyway, yeah. This is what I'm on about. Suck it up music snobs.

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