Monday, 14 October 2013


When a man includes a word like chuckles or giggles in a sentence surrounded by asterisks, presumably to show that he is 'saying' it, it makes my skin crawl all the way down my back.

My skin actually feels like it's trying to escape and wriggle away from the whole scenario. A flapping silhouette slithering off me out of sheer cringe.

It's just grotesque.

What prompts this, you may ask? Well, guess what.

So many things. 

He says 'chuckle'. He says 'anyhoo'. He calls me 'age appropriate' when he is exactly my age. And then, after saying age appropriate he goes on to say how glad he is that I don't look my age. Wat?

He, as you can see, looks at least his age + 20 so it's important that women his age look younger than they are. Obviously. 

I had clicked on to his profile, probably by accident, and quickly dismissed him. But he thought that me clicking onto his profile but not messaging was some kind of sign. 

And the kisses. 

Xx .

Just no. 

And then. 


Because most women don't leave messages FOR YOU you loathsome dickweed. 

And then his fantasy that I am a woman to be put in her place. Marvellous. Fucking marvellous. Winner, right here ladies and gents. 

I told him he makes me feel sick. I explicitly state  I am not interested. 

And then. I know, he thinks, I'll keep quoting the Taming of the Shrew at her. That'll get her love juices flowing. Women love that shit. 

And then I blocked him. 

I actually did a small heave. 



1 comment:

  1. Inspired by the last few OKC posts..........
    If I were replying to your profile and asking for a date, here's what I'd do:-
    1. Find the most flattering photo I had of MY FACE - NOT my genitals, or anyone else's face - and attach it.
    2. Point out, lightheartedly, that an hour or two in my company might - just might - be slightly more interesting than staring at a wall.
    3. Not mention sex AT ALL.
    4. Think "as this woman is a writer, I'd better make absolutely sure my grammar, spelling and punctuation are correct - she'll notice if they're not, and it'll obviously matter to her."
    5. Having checked and double-checked, send the message.
    6. Await a reply. And, if I didn't get one, TAKE THE FUCKING HINT!!
    Really not that difficult - I despair sometimes, though it's a comforting thought that, hopefully, the morons you've highlighted won't get the chance to breed!