Now I have the R Whites jingle in my head. What happened to R Whites anyway?
I meditate. I've meditated off and on for a while now but not with any discipline. It's never been my strong point to be fair.
For the last three days I have meditated four to five times a day. My phone keeps correcting the spelling to mediated. Apparently more people spend their time mediating than meditating.
I like meditating. I'm following a mindfulness meditation programme that is basically Buddhism without Buddha. It's a comforting cross between acceptance and nihilism that I'm finding profoundly helpful and deeply satisfying so far.
But it's fucking hard. It's hard to genuinely feel suspended in the moment with no thoughts of the thing you fucked up yesterday or that bloke that's on your mind or that fucking earworm constantly in the background. Thanks Biggie.
I'm no good with hippy shit. Talk of crystals and healing and positive thinking makes me blow metaphorical chunks. But this is as simple as it gets. What is there really except the breath?
And when you manage to hit a few moments where it really truly is all you're doing. Just breathing. So your body becomes the breath. It's so good.
Last night I took a punt on a much longer meditation than normal, with a background of music that was supposedly at some kind of special frequency. It was mildly trippy and surreal. Falling deep inside yourself without falling asleep is weird. How did I not know you could do this shit without drugs?