Two things happened the other day.
One was a dream I had and it was ridiculous and the other appears to be a real thing that's actually happening.
Here they are.
The first thing that happened was this guy who has no legs but can run really fast and is rich and famous because of this ability and also is very good looking in that kind of way that I like (emotionless, cheekbones, spare face, eyes that are unreadable, aloof, unreachable, phwoar) was not convicted for murder.
That's quite weird really because the guy shot his girlfriend dead. She was called Reeva Steenkamp and she has been dead for about a year and a half. She was in the toilet with the door locked in the middle of the night so he shot a few times through the bathroom door, presumably to make sure she was well and truly splattered all over the walls.
He then said that it wasn't his fault because has has no legs and something about thinking that she was an intruder. She lives with him, sleeps in the same bed and, well, I think that maybe the first thing you'd do if you thought someone was in your house and you lived with a partner and your partner isn't in bed is, I dunno, assume that said partner is in the bog. I wouldn't assume that the thing you would do is put your legs on, find your gun and then shoot whoever is in the bathroom. Until they're dead.
But he shot her instead. He did this on Valentine's Day and hasn't even spent a night in jail yet. He was let out on bail. His girlfriend wasn't. She was a bloody pulpy mess in his house. They scraped her up though and he went back to doing whatever it is he does until the trial.
During the trial he said a lot of reasons why shooting his girlfriend dead in the middle of the night wasn't his fault. Something something no legs, something something vulnerable, something something SELF DEFENCE something something puke in a bucket.
So it comes to the end of it all and obviously the judge is going to convict him of murder, as, you know, that's what happened. But nah, he is only guilty of culpable homicide. He hasn't been sentenced yet but he can't get more than 15 years and it's extremely likely that he won't serve any time at all.
On top of this he's going to write a book about his trauma in the dock and he's free to compete again. Hold up, what? Yep, I said he's FREE TO COMPETE. He can represent South Africa, if he wants to. He can compete in the Paralympics if he wants to.
The International Paralymics Committee has said that the 'trial has had no negative impact on the Paralympic movement' and that Pistorious is 'a fundamental ambassador for the Paralympics'.
During the trial it turned out he has form. He plays with guns. He has a very violent temper and cannot control himself. He has intimidated past girlfriends. He is unpredictable, childish and dangerous. Oh, and he's a convicted killer. But he's an AMBASSADOR. I suppose it shows equality. It's not only people with two legs who can be psychopathic fuckheads who need locking up.
The second thing that happened was that I had a pet bat and I was in the car with my dad (who's dead) and the bat landed on his head and we were worried and then I turned around and the bat had turned into a little girl and she said she had to find the witch to find the answer so she could turn back into a bat.
Weirdly, the second thing that happened strikes me as far more feasible and understandable than the first thing that happened.