Do you ever get any nice messages?

Sharing the joy of online dating may make it seem that all I get are 'orrible messages. 

That is not the case at all. 

Sometimes I get messages like this: 

"Hello, my universal queen I just went through your profile, I would like to be a friend, you look so pretty charming like the morning sun"

Or this: 

"Hello, 

Saw your profile and thought you seem like a friendly female. I have a high sex drive and wanted to take my chance in meeting up with you for some fun. 

Regards,"

Or this: 

"Hi, 

I'm Stephane, I'm not too sure what to think. On one hand I find you very attractive, on the other, very dangerous. One one hand you seem to be a tough cookie, on the other one, you seem to surrender to necessary compromises. 

Well, I guess at our age range, we're usually not virgin on any sense of the term most likely with a set mind on things we will and won't be allowing into our lives. 

I hope I'm thoroughly wing about the tough cookie bit, although..."

Or this: 

"those eyes, that smile can all be very dangerous if also coming with a sensual and passionate woman behind them ;-)"

Or this: 

"Hi

I just read an essay, oh no it was your profile
I thought I would reply with an equally long message, unfortunately I don't have the time and a connot find how to add dick pic

Please reply if you find this funny
X William"

Or this: 

"I never know a good opener, so here is something different. What is the name of the pointy device used in fencing?"

Or this: 

"I just crave older laides. Plus I don't get much sex due to busy timetable."

Or this: 

"I can make u rich, if you can write book. I have the story. I'm not kidding by the way... If i could put my life story and what happened in it into words... it will transform ur life... "


So, you know, it's not all bad. I am, after all, universal queen.