Saturday, 18 October 2014

Does size matter?

I have a date on Tuesday night.

I was vaguely looking forward to it. It's a guy who lives locally. That's a pretty rare find in Royston Vasey. He seems pretty OK. Not bad looking. Acceptably amusing.

We chatted.

And then he asked me.

He asked me if I'm fat.

He didn't come right out and ask me, of course. He squidged it in to a conversation about height. So, you're not fat are you hahaha, cos I don't want a fatty.


You've seen my pictures, I said. And I describe myself as 'average'. I don't claim to be skinny, slim or sylph like. I say I'm average. Because I am. Fucking average.

Yeah, but. This girl, right. He went out with this girl who described herself as 'athletic' on her profile and she was, dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuun overweight. So he's just 'being honest'.

Well, no. You're not just being honest you douchenugget. You have now put me hugely on the defensive because I, like a lot of women, am uber-sensitive about my weight, constantly aware I am not skinny, constantly worried about my level of attractiveness, and actually, right now, on a diet that consists of 800 calories a day.

So what I don't want or need before meeting someone for the first time is to ALREADY be on the defensive about my looks. It just so happens that my last two serious relationships became very, er, based around my weight. I have always been too fat for the guy I've been with. Always. And that shit gets wearing, man.

But instead of waiting until we meet to see whether he finds me attractive he wants me to tell him right now whether I am going to fulfil his idea of attractiveness.

I asked him whether he ever worries whether a girl in a date scenario will fancy him. He said no. He doesn't worry about that. He just worries about whether she's thin enough and pretty enough and everything else. He's just 'being honest'.

Thing is though, we all have preferences. I have a thing for shoulders. I like shoulders. But I wouldn't ask someone before I meet him whether his shoulders are nice and manly. Or whether his dick is nice and big. Because, y'know, it's my preference. And maybe when I meet him and he doesn't have those obvious attributes I'll find some other reason to like him. Maybe his personality would attract me. But if I set it up beforehand and make him feel like shit about something then it's unlikely to happen at all is it?

So yeah, size matters. It really does matter. Fuck it.

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