Friday, 27 March 2015

The tragedy of Clarkson

I can't believe Jeremy Clarkson has been fired from Top Gear. I just think that a man of his stature - a man who "speaks his mind", an everyman, if you will, deserves to, like, do whatever he wants. You know?

I mean, he wanted steak. We've all been there. You know. Think about the last time (I'm sure it was very recent) that you were at an all expenses paid hotel, while at work. You're only paid, like, £14 million last year, so you're feeling kind of taken advantage of. And someone said there would be steak. You're really hungry and there is no steak.

I just can't imagine putting someone like Jeremy Clarkson through such an awful, tragic experience. And his only reaction was to punch a colleague in the face. I think that's more than fair, under the circumstances. Like I said, we've all been there. Someone said there was no cake in the office once and I took a machete to the lot of them. Right there in the Monday morning meeting. So I completely get Clarkson's pain.

The indignity of not having steak! The horror of being denied something he wanted RIGHT THEN AND THERE IN THAT MOMENT.

Some people say that he acts like a toddler and is perhaps mentally ill. But to those people I say, have you SEEN Top Gear. It's a programme where he drives lots of cars and has 'banter'. Some of the banter is racist. Some of it is misogynist. But it's all absolutely hilarious. And really very very clever. He's striking a blow, you see, against the establishment. He's only saying what we're all thinking, am I right?

The bit where he said nigger in an outtake. We've all done it. Don't be pretending you never use outdated racist epithets as casual asides. I mean, come ON. Oh, and when he said that Britian is a 'nation of bastards'. He's right isn't he? Some people would say that by insulting the massed amoebas of unquestioning laddish culture who elevated him to his rightful position of King of the EVERYMAN, he perhaps might be a bit kinder.

But he just says it how it is, you see. He's brave. And so so entertaining. I've seen all of his interviews with famous and interesting people. In some of them the people are allowed to speak!

I, for one, don't know what I'll do without Top Gear. Watching three middle aged men talking about cars, in between going on hilarious adventures and really really showcasing what it means to be British, has been a delight. A pleasure and a delight.

RIP in peace Jeremy Clarkson. I will never ever forget you.

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